Mauriello Publishing
Kenny Hemphill
Kenesaw “Kenny” Hemphill was from the hills of Arkansas and a self-professed hillbilly. We were teammates with the Mobile Bears of the AA Southern Association in 1955.
His biggest problem was he would disappear for two or three days at a time. When that happened, everybody knew that he was off on a drunken binge. He was always welcomed when he came back, because he was a pretty good pitcher.
At one point late in the season, Kenny disappeared for about a week. Since this was longer than usual, we all began to worry. But it turned out he wasn’t on one of his binges.
He was bright eyed and bushy tailed when he finally showed up in the clubhouse one night before a game. “I betcha all you guys thought I was off drinkin’ again,” he said. “But I wasn’t! I went home to git married.”
We all congratulated him. Then a couple of the married guys said they were taking their wives out after the game, and invited Kenny to bring his wife along so they could celebrate. Kenny told them his wife wasn’t with him.
“She’s at home ’cause she’s gotta go to school,” he said.
Almost all of us at the same time said, “School? How old is she?”
Kenny said “Thirteen”.
That’s right. In the hills of Arkansas, in 1955, getting married at thirteen was normal.
And I think that culture was best explained by Kenny when he told us this joke.
It seems this young hillbilly couple got married and of course there was a big celebration. When it was over, the couple went down to the cabin in the holler where all the young couples went to celebrate their honeymoon.
The next morning, the father of the groom is coming out the front door and adjusting the straps on his overalls when he looks down and sees Junior settin’on the porch.
The father says “Son whacha doing here? Yer supposta be down in the holler celebratin’ yer honeymoon.”
The son says “Pa, I had to come back. . . . She was a virgin.”
Pa waits a second and says, ”Ya done right son. If she weren’t good enough for her own kinfolk, she ain’t good enough for you.
This was a hillbilly telling a joke about his culture. Obviously Kenny didn’t think twice about it. But to the rest of us, it was very unusual and strange.
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